Rescue Me

Bachan's funeral went about as well as could be expected. The mortuary had just enough room in their chapel for all the guests which had me on the proverbial pins and needles seconding guessing myself for not just holding it at the big temple downtown. I would have liked to have had the service done by a Bosan I was more familiar with too. English would have been a good thing. I calculated that maybe 25% of the assembly knew what he was talking about.

I'd say the highlight of the service was my Great Uncle's eulogy. We're talking world record material here. Longer then the chanting. Longer then the incense offering. Key word. Long.

He described his upbringing and how my Bachan, his onesan, basically raised him and his brothers and sister while their parents worked. How they got all got shipped off to internment camp when they were finally on the verge of getting ahead and their bitter experiences during wartime and the time after the war.

One story in particular stood out. A few years back he was at a vintage auto show looking at old cars from the first half of the 20th century when a old white man next to him commented how they don't make cars like that anymore and how the best times of his life was when he had cars like that. My Great Uncle thought to himself about a time when he was younger and how his hard his family had it during those times. He looked at the white man and thought to himself, "Those may have been the best times of his life but to it sure wasn't to us"

Being Nihonjin to the core he ended the eulogy with his thoughts how us kids today have it so easy and don't appreciate what our ancestors had to endure to have what we have today. For the first time in my life I think it sunk in. He's right.

The rest of the weekend was spent entertaining the No Cal contingent of my cousins. They have it in their heads that I have this amazing talent so when they say, "Hook me up", I can wave my hand and procure them female entertainment at will. Two words. I tried.

If you look down at the pic from the previous post you'll see the newest member of the family, Kia. A walking example of cats having 9 lives. She's down to 8 now.

She was discovered Sunday at work, trapped in the engine of one of the waitresses nest door who didn't know until she pullled up in the parking lot that anything was amiss. The crying from under the hood was a dead giveaway. The kitten had herself in some weird stretched out position around the engine of the waitress's VW and nobody knew how to get her out. One quick trip home and a jacked up VW Bug and I have a new kitten, currently residing at my brother's apartment.

In case you're wondering the name Kia is what my Bachan's hakujin friend called her since she couldn't quite say Chiyo.

Bachan always loved cats and took in any stray that crossed her path. How ironic that the week she passes away and this kitten crosses my path. Fate can be a good thing. Well sometimes.

Kia Hiding

Kia Hiding
Originally uploaded by grotani.

Who's The Man?

Definitely not I says me. I have to step back outside myself, take a deep breath, and admit to myself that shit's fucked up and no matter how I go out and try to deal with it all and act like it's all good it's not. I see myself as having to be strong for everyone and it's getting to me. Chinks in the armor. I think I'm pretty tough, mentally and physically, but I'm not a rock. Time to stop fronting like one.

Everyone's telling me to just let the shit from Bachan's retirement center go. Cuz that's the Asian thing to do. I guess I'm just not that fucking Asian then. I'm pursuing this shit, with the cops and with the governing body of retirement homes in here in Cali.

It breaks my heart knowing we could only come up with one decent dress and a pair of fucked up shoes for the funeral. Not even a pair of stockings or a pair of hose. All her clothing was jacked and I know as recently as my last visit there last week that her closet was overflowing. Not to mention about 70% of her stuffed animals, especially the stuffed tiger that I got her that always rested in her bed. I wanted to put that in her casket.

Shit like this and my lovelife drama has me in a spot where I just want to crawl my ass in a hole or just leave town and hit reset. Too bad life isn't a videogame.

But no. I'm the one that everyone comes to. But where do I go for myself?

Softball wise I shoulda just sat my ass out. I didn't have it and the prognosis on my individual play isn't good. I either have to step it up or sit my ass down like I should have tonight. These past few games (1-7) or even (2-10) if I count the scrimmage we had on the rainout night are taking the shine off my strong start. I need to be born again, get my head straight, and just hit the ball. HARD.

I think everything will get better after the funeral Saturday. Or maybe I just keep telling myself that.

End rant. Play the violins and pass the kleenex.

Bad And Badder

All the arrangements for the funeral are set. Only thing left to do is wait for the relatives to arrive in town and hold the service. The only complication is the fact that the burial is going to be combined with the Buddhist 49 day service so Bachan won't be buried for awhile. I was pushing for a service/burial on the same day and having her cremated beforehand but my Mom wants everyone to have a chance to see her again before she's buried so it's going to be an open casket.

Today was spent at her retirement home in Gardena, packing up all her stuff. The suck part is discovering a lot of things missing from her room. Going back again to handle that. What kinda fucking leeches steal the property of somebody that just passed away? I thought only my bitchass brother was capable of being that low.

My Bachan

Tonight after 91 years on this earth my Bachan passed away. She passed in her sleep, peacefully, after suffering what was described at the time as a mild heart attack early this afternoon. Sadly with her advanced age she never really had a chance.

I found out right when I got home for lunch since my Uncle had called my Mother 5 minutes earlier. They didn't think it was too serious at the time since she was fully conscious and seemed to responding to treatment. My folks were on the way to the hospital within half an hour and promised to call me if there was any news.

I went back to work, dreading any phone call but none came. I assumed she was doing okay so I went off to practice and after getting home picked up a message from Mom saying Bachan wasn't doing too well and that they'd be home soon. I waited with the dog, walking up and down the street. When they pulled up at 11 before I could even speak Mom mouthed the words, "Bachan's dead".

My Brother came over and we reminisced, thinking especially hard about yesterday, one of the rare chances I've had nowadays to spend a whole day with her and what good spirits she was in, laughing outside watching us play with the dog. I wondered aloud if maybe the reason I got so violently ill in the morning was to give me a chance to spend one more day with her.

There's a lot to miss about her. Most important to me is the fact that she was one of the few relatives to never judge me and love me for what I am. No matter how bad I fucked up or how much trouble I got into Bachan's response was always the same. She'd laugh. She didn't care what color girls I brought home or sit and gossip with all the Aunties about my latest escapades. Her love was unconditional.

I loved her as much as she loved me. I'll miss my Bachan. Always.

Toxic

As the 3rd member of my family to get stricken down after eating leftovers from my Cousin's B-day blast all I can say is damn. Next time someone offers you a foil covered paper plate do the smart thing. Just say no.

Since my entire day was spent in my bedroom besides a 4 hour nap there was plenty of time to kill. 7 hours of it went toward a large multi-table tourney where I got my ass kicked and finished 13th out of 2500 + players. I should be happy placing in the $$$ and all but still.......getting a full house crushed by quads doesn't make you feel all that special.

Cool feature in the MLB 2K5 game. Soundtracks. Each player can have their own song when they come to the plate or come in to pitch. Ahhhhh. Imagine the comedic possibilities.

Hap ~ OPP : Naught By Nature

Bill ~ Fighter: Christina Aguilera

Nate ~ I Ran (So Far Away) : Flock of Seagulls

BK ~ Shake Your Bon-Bon : William Hung

Ant ~ Wake Me Up before You Go Go : Wham

Chi ~ Whoomp There it Is : Tag Team

Okay. Idea well is dried up for the night. Suggestions?

The Force Is Not With Me

Still no Star Wars. It's not like I haven't really tried. My brother and my friends all want to wait until the crowds die down. Those friends who haven't seen it already that is. All three friends that I asked of the female gender aren't into "that kind" of movie. I can understand the two fobby girls
not being into it but even my ace in the hole, H, everyone's favorite ex turned me down. We used to watch the original trilogy over and over and stood in line for 4 hours to see the Phantom Menace the second day it was out. Now she's so turned off by the prequels that she's gonna wait for the DVD release and rent. Hater.

Currently plans are in the works for a Wednesday viewing. I did consider a solo viewing but I'd feel like a bigger dork if I was sitting next to some spazz in a stormtrooper costume.

Funny sight of the day. Some Middle Eastern guy in a Mercedes getting flagged down in front of the store by the LAPD for speeding. Dude's ranting and raving, waving his arms, then in a stroke of maginficent genius tries to step out of the car. Not a great idea. Guns are drawn and he's ordered in a not so nice tone to stay in the fucking car. I had enough sense to duck under the counter at this point. I saw how bad the cops shoot in the news when they took 120 shots at an errant motorist in Compton. Hit him 4 times and he lived to sue them. I'm not going out like that. It took over 45 minutes for them to ticket his ass. I figure they were running him thru every terror watchlist they had just cuz he was a dick.

From The Ashes

Another long night at Cheviot. Never mind the fact that I didn't actually play. Undertakers beat the winless Rude Boys 7-6. Moss Adams kept their perfect season alive. 0 and however many games they played. In the nitecap BDO walked all over the Rainmakers. I was sitting on the Rainmaker side. Fuck BDO.

Currently working on assembling a GR team for MLB 2K5. So far I have the infield of Wan, Tetsuka, Poon, and Rubin done thanks to the magic of Create A Player. I may have to post their stats and attributes somewhere down the line. Oufield is next. No, there will be no rotation. This is my fucking team dammit.

Only Human

Sometimes the Softball Gods let you down. Imagine a game where Mike, Sean, and Will the Thrill all go 0 - for. I thought shit like that only happened to me.

Going to a higher power to find out why my knee is taking so long to heal I learned the following. If you bust up a scar there's not going to be the blood flow and scabbing you'd get from a wound on a unmarked part of the body. Oh.

I really, really wanna see the new Star Wars movie. In prepartion I've been watching the original trilogy on dvd. I may even break down and get the 1st 2 prequels too. So who wants to wait in line with me Friday?

Cool thing I noticed at the end of Revenge of the Jedi. In the closing scene where they show the ghosts of Yoda, Obi Wan, and Anakin, they replaced the ghost of the old man from the original cut with the young Anakin from the prequels. I'm prolly the last person to notice this.

I'm currently pondering the follwing moral dilemma. If Anakin fucks over all the Jedis and fucks with the whole universe as Darth Vader, then why does simply killing the Emperor make him good again? I think it'd take a lil more then that karma wise. If that was the case I'd be an angel by now.

The Rock Of Poon

Belated Birthday wishes to everyones favorite action hero. God knows how I forgot his birthday seeing that it's the same as my brother's.

I met this killa about 4 years ago with the opening of the original Giant Robot store. I was filling up spaces on the neighborhood World Series pool and I remember asking , "Who the fuck is Bill?" Upon meeting him he did look vaguely familiar. Not only was he the infamous "Bill Bear" from the magazine, world reknowned for his posterior but I'd actually played B-Ball with him in the dungeon in Koreatown.

In the time since he's proven to be a great friend, teammate, and shoulder to cry on. I love him as much as it's possible for a hetero male to love another. Even if he wears womens clothing and sold out and got a job.

Sainthood

Things we do on the downlow. After all we can't have people thinking we're actually nice and shit.

One of my favorite local restaurant's has been going thru some hard times lately. So bad that they've done the unthinkable and opened for lunch on the weekends, a time when they're usually closed.

So I'm on a mission to pick up lunch there today. For me and whoever else is hungry. Total cost. $42 . The sad thing is that when I went in to order I was the only one there. I tried.

While I was waiting to pick up my food I made my weekly trip to the local Japanese bookstore to pick up my standing weekly order for 2 Japanese wrestling magazines that come each week and genrally cost about $13 bucks a week. Give ot take a few 100 yen.

Honestly. my affection for Japanese "puroresu" faded awhile ago. I just keep my order there cuz their business is really slow and I love the sweet obachan and her husband who run the place. There business took a huge hit when the newer and much larger bookstore opened across the street. So I'm happy to give them my $$$ for mags I barely even skim thru nowadays. Most of the mags get donated to my friend's coffee shop/internet cafe.

Awwwww......

Please note. No matter what I do nowadays I still have some major karma renovation in my future.

Too Much

This is gonna sound really, really stupid. So hate me.

First day off in quite awhile and I'm bored out of my mind. What am I supoosed to do with all this time?

Things we did today:

Changed the oil on the van then out of the goodness of my heart called my friend to see if she wanted her oil changed too. I remembered her paying $40 to some cheezy mechanic. Since I was on such a rush I went ahead and changed my Mom's too.

Raked all the leaves from the stupid trees in front of my house. The trees drive me crazy. With the help of my ablebodied 4 year old assistant the leaves are gone. Til tomorrow.

On a tree related sidenote a few years ago a white haired Filipino man came to my door and told me his family lived here previously and this was the house he grew up in. He remembered selling it my Grandparents back in the 1950's and how sad they were to leave the house they lived in for over 20 years before relocating to San Jose.

We went on a room by room tour of the house and backyard, smiling at his stories about growing up here. I was definitely charmed until we hit the front and he was about to leave and he motioned to the 2 magnolia trees which are the bane of my existence.

"I remember when I was a boy my Father planted these trees. Look at how big they've grown."
He proceeded to whip out a camera and take pics of the trees which are the bane of my existence. My opinion of him plummeted dramatically.

Back to today. Wrote a preview of the BDO/GR game for tomorrow. Kinda sucks cuz I was writing it while playing poker.

Went shopping for a B-Day gift for my brother. One of the 2 I actually like. He's getting a 70's show season 2 dvd set. My friend said it was a lame gift. I had to tell her my brother's lame so he'd like it just fine.

Picked up MLB 2K5 for the Xbox. Time to recreate my team. I'm debating making it realistic or fudging a little. How many sub 6 foot Asians can one team have? More on this as we progress. I still need to check everyones numbers and shit.

Walked the dog for exactly 2 miles according to the pedometer thing my friend gave me that never saw the light of day til today. Lucky me. She only krapped one time.

I did 3 much needed loads of laundry. Thats exciting.

Watched some guy at the end of a high speed chase get shot by the cops in Long Beach. Damn. He dropped one gun getting out of the car and was reaching for another when he got smoked after stumbling to the ground.

Tonite in about an hour its back to Cheviot to watch Mike and VCA.

I need hobbies dammit.

For Posterity

Tonight in a 600+ player no limit tourney I caught the best hand I ever had (legitimately) in a game of poker.

349 players left. I'm the chip leader with about 11,000 more chips then the 2nd chip leader. On the button, the dreaded "Big Slick", suited spade Ace and King. I raise to 4 times the Big Blind. 1200 chips. She calls with suited clubs, 10 9.

Flop brings Ace of diamonds, 10 of spades, Queen of spades. I bet out and she calls. I actually put her on having a pair of Queens. Turn brings a rag, 7 of diamonds. I bet out and she's right there with me calling. River shows up and it's my dream card. Jack of spades.

I check on the river and she bets out 4500 chips. I checkraise to put her all in and she calls.

This is my play by play via AIM.

G ~ dude
G ~ first time ever
? ~ what happened
G ~ i just caught a royal flush
? ~ dang
? ~ congrats
G ~ imma set this bitch all in
G ~ pots already 24, 450
? ~ dang
G ~ she had 5100 chips left
? ~ dang
G ~ ahahahahaha
? ~ kill kll kill
G ~ stupid ho had a pair of 10s

Free At Last

Vacation starts next week. Wednesday specifically. Please note this is not the "lets hop on a plane and see the world " type of vacation. Nor is it of the "lets drive across the desert for 4 1/2 hours and gamble " vacation. None of the above. Vacation is this sense means that I'm off the 7 day a week work schedule.

Due to the fact that a certain place where I spend my Wednesdays and Fridays, often for 12 to 14 hours at a stretch, is a healthy five figure sum behind in my wages I'm taking time off from being in their employment. Blood only gets you by so far. Words of wisdom. Family and work situations don't mix. You're always the first one to get fucked over. I've had exactly ENTIRE days off this year, including New Years. Yes, I counted.

End ranting. I don't wanna be a hater. God knows I know enough of them already.

Fun comment of the day. My homeboy Chi wants to start joining me at the batting cage since he's convinced swinging at balls has made my chest get bigger.

Chi ~ No really, I can really tell.
Me ~ Oh I went from a A cup to a B?
Chi ~ Shit......

Speaking of fun comments my homegirl Kaori came to visit on her day off from the sushi bar next door, following her gym workout. The spandex made me wonder...

Me ~ Are those like really tight or is your ass getting bigger?
Kaori ~ What do you think?
Me ~ Is it all the rice?

In the meantime with this extra

I'm What?

You scored as You are truly Asian. Konichiwa! Our fortune cookie tells us that you are truly an Asian! Grab those Jackie Chan movies, you've already done enough homwwork for one night! You are truly Asian 75% You are truly a Mexican 63% You are truly Black 63% You are Truly Jewish 25% You are truly White 25% What's your true race created with QuizFarm.com

Dedication

This is dedicated to the 6 people who check this everyday. Or maybe it's just Mike hitting refresh over and over again.

Time to jump in with everyone's favorite topic. SOFTBALL!!! Yah. Now sit your ass back down.

Tonight marked our great victory over the best team in our league. 12-1. We're not talking 12 runs. It means 12 of us showed up to play while the other team fielded a single player. Go us!!!
We did have an impromptu scrimmage with an old nemesis from our first season, the Mojos. They beat us something like 8-4 which isn't too bad considering they're in a higher division then we are.

Good:

Hap's pitching debut. I loved it when the batter said something like, "He threw a knuckleball?" Yes he did.

Bret's solid work in leftfield and playing catcher. After taking a throw from Rich in the outfield that caught a runner at the plate he reminded me after the inning how scary Rich's throws are. Fucking awesome. As were the catches he made playing in left.

Thankfully this was a practice game and won't count toward our season stats. Not only did I strike out LOOKING but being a crackhead dumbass with no crack I attempted to stretch a single that the outfielder bobbled into a double. I thought dude missed the tag but got called out. Just to make it extra special my right kneee is now covered in blood. What kind of dumbshit slides in a practice game? Oh. Bill did tell me to stop. Heh.