Wanna Bet?

I've heard that I'm really lagging on the updates. Thanks for the heads up from the cheap seats.

My friend was thoughtful enough to pass this along to me for reasons unknown. The infamous 20 questions from Gamblers Anonymous. Time to settle up to the best of my ability.


1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling? NO

2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy? NO

3. Did gambling affect your reputation? OK. This one got me.

4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling? Yes. I feel bad taking peoples paychecks and food stamps. Not.

5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties? On a wing and a prayer. No it really didn't work.

6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency? No. It just makes you want to be a better gambler.

7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses? C'mon now. I'm not that much of a degenrate.

8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more? It's called a rush. Yes.

9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone? Not often but it's happened.

10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling? No. They just had to pay for my gas and my buffet.

11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling? Aw shit. I'm not my fucking brother.

12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures? Nope. I just cash out and send it to my checking.

13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family? If you mean dragging my ass to sketchy places then yes. I'm pretty well protected though.

14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned? All the time. Guilty.

15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble? I would think gambling would make you worry and get you into trouble. No.

16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling? Course not. I just commit illegal acts to finance my everyday life, not specfically gambling.

17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? I guess sometimes you're so fired up it does get hard to sleep.

18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble? Nope. More better to gamble with your head on blank.

19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling? Not particularly.

20. Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling? Nay. I have enough people wanting to destruct me without doing it myself.

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.

Damn. I did get 7.

I Wish

Okay. I figured out the secret to blogging sucessfully. Blog BEFORE you respond to your email. Well most of them. Blog BEFORE you turn on your ims. Third and most important. Blog BEFORE you start playing poker.

I can't fucking hit. God doesn't want me to hit. Proof?

Last Wednesday I was planning on going hitting with BK but found myself sidetracked and driving across the desert. Sidetracked may be the understatement of the year. I got home at 3pm, slept thru calls from Bk and Mike and missed a perfect oppportunity to hit.

Last Thursday the plan was to go hit with Mike, Eric, and Bill. We even made it as far as the Valley. The only thing holding us back was the police closing off Sepulveda while they searched for a bank robber. In case you're wondering he's still at large.

Sunday Eric and Mike went hitting again without me while I was entertaining my former probation officer. If you wanna call a emergency, mandatory, meetup entertaining.

Nope. Hittings not in my cards. Tonites trip to meet Bill at the cages was superceded by our forecast of "light rain" that resulted in a deluge in my part of town.

2 weeks left to try and unsuck before the season starts.

Last week there was a huge run on these giant squid in the local waters. This one was caught by Eric's Uncle. Freaking huge.

Lil Kim

Lil Kim
Originally uploaded by grotani.

If you read the news you'll hear that Lil Kim got convicted today, trying to cover up a shooutout her people were in. She's looking at a few years once the sentencing goes down.

You have to respect the fact that she took this kinda stand for her people knowing her own freedom was in jeopardy. Putting her own ass on the line. She got bigger balls then most men.

Her old Junior Mafia homeboys took the stand and testified AGAINST her. How fucked up is that? They're all bitter cuz she got tired of all of them freeloading at her house and the stand she took throwing them out. No mention of all the records and tours she put them on, just niggas hating cuz she was strong enough to put their no talent, leech asses on the curb.

Lil Kim. My kinda girl.

Long Road To Nowhere

After a caging session with Bill I thought I'd taken the edge off. Guess it wasn't enough and I drove thru the night. Destination. Vegas. Did what I had to do there and came back to LA around 3. Then crashed the fuck out for the last 7 hours. I'm still wearing the shit I had on yesterday. Course the shirt's dope as hell. After all it says Poon.

I hit the Bellagio hoping to catch some real poker stars but I guess they aren't out at 5 am.

I been having some weird fucked up dreams lately. Strange thing is how many of them remember. A few nights back it was me playing ina poker tourney and me making out at the table with some fugly Hispanic chick, all the while trying to hide her presence from my friends who were with me. "Friends" entailing just about every girl I know. Who knows where the guys were?

This evenings dream had me in the World Series of Poker. The catch. My table consisiting of several friends and various relatives. I remember feeling bad as I knocked them off one by one while everyone getting moved to my table was someone else I knew. The funky part was lifting an old gf's shirt up, licking her nipple, then pointing across the table at another ex and enlightening the table with the proclamation, "Her's are bigger". My Auntie who thinks joining the armed forces was always my best option looked like she wanted to die. Too bad I woke up. I woulda liked to see where this one was heading.

Update

Damn. It has been awhile. Where to begin?

My piece of shit brother returned to his old habits and returned to a life of crime. Namely boosting a gang of my shit and selling it who knows where. It gets better. He also cleaned out our other brother's wallet. I see myself in Vegas this Wednesday. He won't be hard to find. It'll be harder getting a grip on my bad intentions. In a previous lifetime or what passes for it in my mind, my homeboy and I found the perfect place to leave bodies in the desert. X marks the spot.

Last night in a $100 buy in No limit tourney I was cruising along in a solid 126th place out of 578 players. We started with over 800 and after about an hour and a half I found myself in the aforementioned position going all in with a boat, 3 Kings and a pair of 4's only to get my ass knocked out by the biggest stack at my table. Quad 4's. I swear to God I didn't see it coming. Not in the realm of possibilities of my wildest imagination did I expect to be hit with that. I thought I was on the fast track into the top 60 since the top 60 players were getting paid. I was talking to Mike at the time and promised to buy him cleats. Fucking cursed me.

Way back last Wednesday I got my ass kicked at San Manuel, everyone's favorite Indian Casino that's only an hour away. God doesn't want me to gamble.

Softball update. Coming soon.

A Few Good Men

Last night's scrimmage with just 5 of our 12 players representing. Next week we'll make a better showing. I'd hate to start the season like this. Not the other guys. Me. The clock to the official start of the season is ticking away and it's gonna blow up in my face if I don't step up.

A cool sidenote to last night was being joined by Juan, the captain of MA, who won one game all least season. Against us. Fuckers.

I've been trying to get pics but my cel phone picture capture ain't working. Last thing in the world I need right now is a new cel. Not like I ever pick it up when people call anyways. I'm rude like that.

Yesterday was the official opening of GR-EATS. The opening was on the downlow so there wasn't a huge turnout but the food is off the hook. We sampled the burger, fried chicken, penne, and veggie spring rolls. I'm going back today for the penne. Get in now before the crowds show up.

Edit: Due to the fact that my brother is a motherfucking thief there's no GR Eats on my lunch menu. My lunch is being spent revising the security of my living area in order to keep his ass out of my shit.

Conversation I had with my ex regarding this piece of shit dick that just so happens to be a blood relative.

H ~ Y'know he is your brother. It's not like you never did anything bad.

Me ~ There's a fucking difference. I didn't do it to people I know. Big fucking difference.

H ~ But still. He is your brother.

Positive reinforcement why some girls are doomed to be exes.

Funny Ass Shit

This may go down as one of the greatest comments in history. I'm seriously tempted to print it out and hang it on my mirror or stick it in my wallet. Oh wait. I gave my printer away.

i will take the copy. thanks....

on another note, dont forget to cage. it should be part of your normal regimen. if you are not thinking bout the cage and trying to go to the cage EVERDAY, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....cage > women, cage > poker, cage > furaibo, cage > lynrei haha

I wonder who that was....? But it served it nefarious purpose.

After a long week of doing NOTHING related to softball I made my way last night and again tonight to the wonderland in the Valley that we call the cages. The swing is coming around. Slowly. I may even use it in a real game.

Last night was with the boys. Bill, Eric, and Mike. Tonight was solo. 4 rounds, in and out in 20 minutes. I'm starting to feel bad dragging people along with me.

Word to the wise. Fried rice and gyoza reheated at 2 am sucks. Even if it was free.

Disconnected

I'm out of it. Long ass regular work week at the market, two 10 hour plus days at the home of the dead, and 3 funerals in one week have me ready to start bouncing off walls. I used to have a social life. Way back when.

Wheres the violin when I need it?

I could have saved 18 bucks if I listened to Martin's critique of Millenium Mambo before I bought it. Slow was an understatement. Considering my fellow viewer and her aversion to violence I thought I made a good choice. If anyone would like a FREE copy of this dvd get at me. It's yours.

3 Amigos

No it's not Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, and Martin Short. It's Martin, Nate, and Eric from last Thursday. Happy people. This WOULD have been up last weekend IF my cel worked. Please note that you can see what's left of BK's hair in the lower right corner.

Playing With Fire

Humility is a good thing. I'm humbled. Tonite my team played the Eric and Michael led Gr B team. Remind me never to doubt Mike again. Unless he's talking that "upper management shit". For the past month he'd been going and on about how these new guys he was brining to the team were going to turn things around. Tonight we played them and guess what? Mike was right. Seeing these previously thought to be "mythical" entities on the field was like seeing Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, live and direct. They're fucking awesome.

Ko's moving away to Seattle. But not before starting a triple play and hitting a home run in his final at bat. Talk about leaving on a high note and shit. Damn.

My hitting can be described in one word. Inconsistent. 2 clean hits, a grounder thru the hole on the left side and a ball that actually went over their left fielders head. One grounder to nowhere. The rest, meager popups. I suck.

On a brighter note dinner was at a Oaxacan joint George recommended on Santa Monica. Good stuff. I was the only from my team there but they were nice. No bashing.

Finally got my $$$ from closing the lesser of my 2 poker accounts cleared up. The 3rd party that I go thru mistakenly WITHDREW the funds from my checking account instead of depositing them. Which would explain why my cel phone bill that was due to be paid last Friday left me with no cel service all weekend. Talk about fucking deprived. All is well now. Call me so I can ignore you and talk to all the Obachans.

Thats a pic of my hand. Lesson learned. Don't forget yourr batting gloves.