Nitecap

Multiplayer Mario Golf

More Stat Crunching

Bryant says wow....I really hit .800?

Crunching Softball Stats

Cabbage Patch 2005

I'm trying a new photo service that lets me upload pics to the blog directly from the cam on my phone. Imagine the possibilities. Ahahahhaha.

Blue Blue Wine

After spending much of the week buried in blankets and sleeping 34 hours in 2 days I found a cheap cure for my ills. Boone Farm Blue Hawaii and TGIF Mudslide. Chill and down. Maybe if I listened to LV's prescription of warm Coke and lemon the room wouldn't be spinning right now. Or is that my head?

I used to drink a lot. But it got old since it's not as much fun when you hit legal age. Not to mention waking up with fat Korean girls who = 2 X your body mass. Plus it's a lot eaier to down 2 40's a night when you're playing basketball for 6 hours straight and sweating it out as you go.

Times have changed. I kinda miss this tipsy shit. Just remind me not to drive back over the hill with a bottle between my legs. Dumb.

But It Says Free

The rare and mythic FULL day off. Ahhhh.

Can you smell a rip off? Took the family comp which got fried during a power surge last week into a local computer repair shop. It should be mentioned that the comp was taken to another reapir place that I found where the estimate was about $250 to replace the motherboard and for the labor. This was earlier in the week. Today's trip was more or less to appease the folks and get a 2nd opinion. After all the guy we took it to today is Asian. Us yellow people can't be trusting what Whitey says in his big, spacious shop with half a dozen technicians. Never mind the the problem was analyzed on the spot and the estimate was free. We HAVE to ask the Asian guy, in his lil hole in wall minimall shop, tucked in next to the ramen shop and sushi bar.

So Moms tells me to keep my mouth shut and act like I don't know what wrongs with it. She just wants to tell the bald Chinese guy it won't power up and we'll take it from there. Maybe the guy at the other shop was lying about the motherboard being fried.

So he takes the comp, scratches out our information , and kicks it off with the following. It'll take a few days for him to look at it. Seeing as how he's backed up and he's the only one there. Plus it'll cost $55 for an estimate, taken off the price we have him work on it. Great deal. Or at least Moms thinks so. After all he's Asian isn't he? He wouldn't rip us off.

I bite my tongue. Hard. I can explain to her how fucked up this whole situation is. But no. She can't see past the skin color. Old school thinking is a hard thing to change.

Home Again

33 reasons to love the NBA from my favorite columnist. A great read.

Miraculously I finished fixing T's comp in 2 nights. Remember, a good spyware program is a must have. Windows XP sucks much dick. Switch to Apple.

While waiting for the antivirus and spyware programs I installed to clean out her comp T entertained me by showing me old home movies of her Dad. While this would bore the krap out of most people I watched spellbound. Her Father has always been something of a sore subject between the two of us as I would wonder how she could love a man who just disappeared and left her when she was a kid.

There he is dancing to Elvis. Walking around in Japan. Taking the family for a spin in their wood paneled station wagon. Shots of T as a baby and Pop's proudly holding her, sporting his 70's Bruce Lee shades. Old B-day partys and holidays. My favorite is a shot of her old man and Bachan in front of their restaurant (which would later become Asahi) and a walking tour of the old Sawtelle. I see my store the way it looked when I was a kid, faded green pain with dark red trim. Ketchies, Tensho, the gas station that was on the corner. Both of us watch wordlessly, mesmerized by our shared past. Rewind. I admit to ditching Sunday School and taking my offering money to Sawtelle for candy from Yamaguchi's and comics from Tensho. The video ends with a 10 year old T dancing at Obon, playing games, having her Dad offer her more money. She tells me he left a few months after that Obon. She has tears in her eyes when it's over.

I know better then to trash her old man like I always did in the past. Seeing how happy he was with her back in the day I wonder how a man can leave just take off and leave his family? I hope I never know or have to find out the hard way. For the first time ever, seeing him as a living, breathing person in our neighborhood instead of the blind man with no legs that I saw laying in a bed in Hawaii I feel pity for the man. I make a silent vow to myself not to talk shit anymore to her about the shrine to her Dad in the living room or how weird it is for her to keep his ashes there instead of a cemetery. At least she's at peace with him, home again.

I said, He said

In the context of making plans for meeting at the batting cage....

B ~ i plan to be there but u know, i won't get there until 10
G ~yah yah.....
G ~fucking diva
G ~ ahahahahahaha
B ~ shit man, i gotta work mr I show up at 7:40 with my tennies on at first base guy

I just got fucking owned

Way Back When

Yes, I was a fat kid who liked to wear costumes and modeled for movie ads. Any more questions?

Actually these pics came from the same place as this fun collection of things to do to your friends when they're asleep.

I was the master of shit like this. Pity the fool who had the misfortune to fall asleep in my presence.

Shaving cream in the hands of a sleeping, unsuspecting victim was always a classic. I remember being told that warm water on the hand would make a unwary sleeper piss on themselves but sadly I was never able to get this theory to work. Resorting to piuring on the sleeping victims crotch achieved the same effect.

Using your girlfriend's makeup on a sleeping homeboy was applied with great comedic effect as was strategically moving the hands of a girl or guy to their crotch or breasts leading to many a great polaroid moment.

The best was applied to a visiting cousin who not only got the shaving cream treatment but a smiley clown face and moustache courtesy of her lipstick and eyeliner. The coup de grace was surrounding our couch she was sleeping on with empty beer bottles and a empty fifth of Jack Daniels. Being a strict vegetarian a few Jack In the Box wrappers strewn about only added to the comedy.

Yes, I was a fat kid ass. Damn good at it too.

Welcome To America

A fun way to pass the time the time on a rainy day. Check out these unique translations of a Mexican Migration manual. So that's why they came here?

New Term Of The Day

Down low. A man who has sex with other men but doesn't admit to being homosexual. Who'd have thought?

Thanks to Eric for sharing. Showing how out of touch I am even Ant knew this via Oprah. Course being a man who doesn't have sex with other men while not being homosexual probably excludes me from this body of knowledge.

Spent the morning driving in the rain. This gig is even drearier in the rain. I need to meet new people under happier circumstances. Funeral arranging not being one of them. Getting home before noon is a good thing. Now all I want to do is crawl under my covers and listen to the rain.

Term of the Day

Todays term of the day. LCG.

The other nite hanging out with my homies a large contigent of Filipinas walked by and as they passed my partner pointed out one in particular.

"Thats you right there G. Lookit that ass"

I look. This nigga needs glasses.

"Nay Holmes, that ain't me".

They pass by again and 5 sets of eyes follow them.

"That's a motherfucking ass boy. You like them thick girls. Sup with that?"

"Not that fucking big. Holmes that's not thick. That's fat. Lookit. Her ass is hitting her knees. I don't do those low center of gravity bitches".

Needless to say by the end of the night "Low Center of Gravity" was shortened to LCG and history was made.

Ink

Going with my friend the other night to the tat parlor in the not so nice side of town I'm hit with a thought of great inspiration. I need a new tat.

Since it's her first ever tat she needs me around for moral support. Nothing elaborate. Just a lil cutsey flowery Hawaiian design around her ankle. I lie and tell her it won't hurt much. At least not as much as it does taking them off. That I'm an expert at.

While she's on the table squeezing my hand my muse hits me. I enquire about angel wings. On my back. Fuck. How brilliant is that? I gesture to show him how big I think they should be. Pretty big. No colors. Do I want feathers on my wings? He ilustrates how the feathers would look. Oh hell yeah.

Quote. For the size I want. About $600 +. Whoa.

Maybe it's not such a hot idea after all. Considering it'd take 4 sessions. Two for each wing. Course with the 2 bills I have on my person i can get lil wings. Like fucking Cupid. Errrrrr.....Nay.

My friends lil $80 tat takes about 45 minutes. We leave and the guy hands me his card. Hmmmm. Temptations. Not a great way to start the New Year.

The Best Of 2004

2004: People, Places, Things

A~ Aki, Ant, Adidas, Amethyst, Amazon, Animal Crossing, All you can eat Korean BBQ, Asahi, Ron Artest, Apple Itune store, Akiko, Aptos,

B~ Bill, BK, New bats, Battle Royale manga and novelization, Borders, Barnes and Noble, Boobs, Best Buy, Baseball, Brandy, Elton Brand, Bad Sex

C~ Christian, Cheviot Hills, Castle Park, Cleats, Clippers, Cinco De Mayo, Carson High Football Stats, Charlotte Sometimes on dvd, Chi,

D ~ Dee, Dodgers, Doramas, Dolores, Dollar tacos,

E~ Eric,

F ~ Furaibo, Far Side, Fumika, Fobby Girls.

G~ Giant Robot, Get Wicked, GTA San Andreas, Gary, Gardena Bowl. Garlic cheese fries, Gamecube, GBA, Good Sex

H ~ Hap, Hot Shots Fore, Hawaii Football, Haruko, Hop Li, Herden,

I ~ Ipod, Ichiro,

J~ Jason, Jay Z, Jalen, Jeff, Phil Jackson,

K~ Kaori, Kaido, KFC, Kikosui, Kayla, Kobe, Knotts, Kinokuni, Steven King, Katamari Damacy, Korean Girls,

L~ Lynrei, Love, Lust,

M ~ Mari, Michael, Mikala, Martin, Macs, Michelle, Corey Magette, Mammoth, Monterey,

N~ Nate, Nas, Need For Speed, NIke cleats

O~

P~ Pechanga, Pokerroom, Popeyes, Phantasy Star Online, Pastramis, Poker, Palm Springs, PS2, Pity Sex

Q~

R~ Real Deal Clothing,

S~ Samurai Warriors, Softball, Sepulveda, Sherman Oaks, Swap meets, The Blvd, Santa Cruz, San Manuel,

T~ Tina, Tamiko, Tin Sing, Target

U~

V~ Valley,

W~ Wil Wheaton, Wetsuits, Wonderboy, Walmart,

X~

Y~ Yuuki, Yoko,

Z~

To be continued........